Nathanael completed his mission in Chile, Rancagua and arrived at the Salt Lake Airport on July 12th about 10:30 am. We then went to eat lunch at his favorite restaurant, Sette Bello's in Salt Lake City. Then we came home and he handed out gifts that he had purchased for each of us and then played the piano for about an hour. He was released that evening and we watched the new Star Wars movie that he had missed. I cannot describe the gratitude that I felt to have him home and to see before my eyes the amazing young man that he has become. He left a boy and came home a man. That evening, I had a feeling of true joy fill my heart. I was grateful that he was able to serve a full time mission. I was grateful that he came home safe. I was grateful for friends and family who decorated our home and made him feel truly welcome. Hallelujah! In August, he moved to Utah State University to complete his undergraduate degree in Biochemistry. Travis said that when he took him up to visit with the advisers, it was confirmed to them again that he was supposed to be there at that time. He is so far really enjoying his experience there. He auditioned for a the American Festival Chorus in Logan and was offered a spot at his audition. They were also excited to learn that he plays the bagpipes as well. It was such a blessing to have my Mom and Leslie purchase the items that he needed for school because we simply could not do it at the time. I don't know what I would have done without their help. I know that they will be blessed for their service. Nathanael is enjoying college life by getting involved in several activities and making new friends -including a very special one :) His calling is the ward mission leader and he has been busy helping with baptisms and new converts. He recently taught the Gospel Principles class. I love having him here and listening to him play the piano or his bagpipes. Nathanael has turned into the man that I always wished that he would be. Hallellujah!
Lindsay Kaye started her Freshman year at Utah Valley University. She is living at home and commuting right now. I am hopeful that we can move her down closer to the university in the next few months so that she can have the full college experience. She continues to work at the local Little Caesar's and has 15 credit hours as well as an institute class. Lindsay seems to really enjoy her classes and is doing well. She had to drop a class that she originally had on her schedule because it was physically impossible to get there at that time. She struggled to get into another class for a bit and we were worried because she needs 15 credit hours for one of her scholarships that she has. Lindsay finally met with her adviser who recommended a class that I think has been a favorite so far. Hallelujah! It is about teaching kids who have special needs and how they learn. One of the projects is to help in a special needs class for 10 hours, interview a teacher, and also interview a parent of a child with special needs. She has really been enjoying her time helping in the class at the high school. I am not surprised because she is so kind. It is the essence of who she is. Lindsay also turned 19 years old this last month. What??? She is such an amazing young woman! She has decided to stay in our family ward for now and teaches a primary class of 9 year old girls. They adore her! I am so grateful that she seems to be doing so well! Hallelujah!
Ethan went to high school this year, He is now a student at Lone Peak. It has been somewhat of an overwhelming experience for him but he has stepped up to the challenge and has gained confidence in his abilities to manage all the things that he is involved in. One of the biggest goals he had this summer was accomplished-hallelujah! He enjoys playing soccer and loves things to eat that are cold-especially in the summer. So, for his Eagle project, he sold snow cones at a soccer tournament to raise money to purchase over 1000 diapers for a local refugee center. His proposal was submitted and finally approved on a Saturday evening. The very next week, the soccer tournament ran for three days. He had a goal amount of money that he needed to raise to purchase the number of diapers he was donating. Everyone was extremely generous and his profit exceeded his initial goal. His friends and other members of his quorum helped a great deal. It was such a crazy weekend because his team was also playing in the tournament. However, his project was a success. Travis went with him and my Mom to purchase the diapers and were dropped off at the refugee center. Eagle project complete! Hallelujah! Ethan has also been playing soccer. His team qualified for Division 1 this season and even thought they are playing teams who are all older than his team, they are doing fairly well. We have been pleased that they are able to compete well and have learned how to play at a higher level. They are not ready to "own" this new division, but they are almost there. I am grateful that Ethan is such a good young man. He is the kind of young man that notices things and always steps in to help without being asked. He has a gift for seeing the good in others. So grateful for him in our family.
My dear Clarissa started seventh grade and went to junior high for the first time. It has been quite an adjustment. However, she continues to have an attitude of doing her best, even when it is hard. She was able to participate in a local theater company production of "Oliver" this summer. She was cast as a member of Fagin's gang. I was asked to help on the props committee and it took a lot more time than I expected. In the end though, Clarissa had a really great experience. We had several strangers after performances come up to her and remark how good she was. She really did stand out! Other mothers on the committee also told me that she was very good and that she should continue to do musical theater. I was grateful that she enjoyed it so much. It was a treat to watch her perform. I must also admit that I was grateful when it was over too. Hallelujah! Clarissa also turned 12 years old just after school started. We had her friends over for a "late night" to celebrate. The girls seemed to have a lot of fun. Now that she is 12, I don't have to do a "themed" party anymore. The kids invite friends over to play games, eat snacks, and watch movies. On her actual birthday, the young women in our ward traveled to the Monticello temple to do baptisms for the dead. Travis and Nat got to go as priesthood leaders. She had a blast! They were gone all day but she felt that her birthday was truly special. I was also very grateful for my parents who were able to purchase her birthday presents this year and snacks for the late night with the girls. I don't know what I would have done without their help. Hallelujah!
Zachary started first grade this year. I feel like his teacher is a really good fit for his personality. Hallelujah! He is excited to go to school every day and seems to be happy when he comes home. He has also started a new season of soccer and is "playing up" so that he can be with his friends who are just a couple of months older than him. So far he is having a great time and loves that his Dad is his coach again this year.
The biggest "Hallelujah" is that Travis was able to get a job. It has been a long and difficult summer. We had several things break down or need to be replaced and the worst was when I ended up getting Shingles. Yeah. That was fun. My anxiety was extremely high all the time. I struggled to go to sleep which then gave me migraines. I shed many tears and prayed many times even wondering if the Lord was aware of our situation and that we were all struggling to some extent. I remember one day, I was complaining to my Mom on the phone that I felt like Heavenly Father was not helping us. I was focused on the fact that Travis still did not have a job. My Mother kindly reminded me that He was through other people. She was absolutely right. Even though I was so grateful for all that others were doing for us, I was focusing on the fact that we could not provide for ourselves. I began to really understand that I did have angels all around me to be with me on my right and on my left. They happened to be my extended family and friends and neighbors. We would receive boxes of snacks on our porch every couple of weeks. We received services for free from neighbors. We received food and cash that we were able to use for house payments and other necessities. Most of those who served us did so anonymously. We were overwhelmed with the love that was given to us. I have always hoped my children were watching as I tried to serve others, but this experience has taught them what it really means to "bear one another's burdens". The things that we have been given by others is sacred. My children did not have an attitude of entitlement before, but now the experiences and opportunities that they have are now received with even more gratitude. I hope that they have learned also that we will all go through difficult times and I hope that they will remember that Travis and I have gone through some very difficult things individually and together that have tested our faith. We have continued to keep our covenants hoping that in the end, it will be for our good. I hope that they will remember these times and that it will help them in their trials that they will have to endure. I recognize that it is a lesson that they could not have learned any other way.
As I struggled this summer to stop "kicking and screaming" about this trial and step back and place my burdens on the Lord, I had a couple of experiences that got me through. I read my book of scriptures for my own personal study every day. When we read scriptures as a family, I use my phone. In the past, I have bookmarked certain scriptures so that I can refer to them for teaching or other things. One week during the summer, when I pulled up the scriptures on my phone, my bookmark took me not to where I had marked in our family scripture study, but another scripture that I have no idea when or why it was marked. It came up every day for 4 days. I finally decided that I should read it. I know. I am a little slow. It was D & C 11:16-20-
"Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my rock, my church, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine.
And then, behold, according to your desires, yea, even according to your faith shall it be done unto you.
Keep my commandments; hold your peace; appeal unto my Spirit;
Yea, cleave unto me with all your heart, that you may assist in bringing to light those things of which has been spoken-yea, the translation of my work; be patient until you shall accomplish it.
Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength."
Wow! I felt that the Lord was telling me to be patient and that it would all be okay. It comforted me for a bit and then I started to feel panicky again as we were coming up on the year mark of when Travis lost his job. I decided to fast and attend the temple seeking for personal revelation on what to do. While I was there, I kept having the thought come to my mind to hold on and that something in September would happen. I was not sure what that was but it continued in my mind the next few weeks. September then began and the year anniversary was upon us. One night, as I was doing the dishes, I thought about the 3 major trials in my life that brought me to my knees. I realized that I developed forgiveness and unconditional love through the first trial. I learned not to be so judge-mental in the second trial. I developed more compassion for those who struggle with mental illness. I do not condone wrong choices, but I understand. So then I thought, what have I learned from this one? I have learned to be more patient and long-suffering. As I thought about these attributes, I realized that my trials have helped me come closer to my Savior as I am learning to develop the qualities that He has. I am learning to become more like Him-which is what it is all about. I am still so far from being the person that I should be, but I have learned that I am loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ because I have been given trials that help me to be more like Them so that I can be with Them again someday. I don't know why I must learn things the hard way. Incidentally, Travis received the offer in September and he was able to start right away.
I know that this is personal and I don't want to just share sacred things with anyone and everyone. However, as this blog is really just for my family and they are the only ones who care to read it, I feel impressed that I need to share this so that my children and grandchildren can know where I stand and that I have a testimony that Heavenly Father is mindful of us individually. He loves each one of us perfectly. I don't always understand why we must go through hard things, I do know that it will be for our good-if we allow it to change us for the better.
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